By dr joel enejeta
Counselors (both physicians, law agents and religious leaders) maybe frustrated when they see women returning to abusive relationships. Even if a woman leaves a relationship, there is a 50 per cent chance that she will return to that relationship, and then a 50 per cent chance that she will be abused in the next six months.
There are many factors that prevent a woman from leaving:
- The fear of leaving is greater than the fear of staying. A woman is threatened with worse violence towards both herself and her children if she leaves. Violence is often heightened when the man is confronted with abandonment.
- Economic factors are significant. Woman been unable to sustain herself and the children.
- Mother may tolerate the abuse for the sake of not breaking up the family.
- Mothers are expected to put the need of their children before their own.
- Expectation of the larger world. She may be blamed by the world, friends, family members especially if they do not believe that she is being abused. Self – blame is also common. She may blame herself that she actually provokes her husband.
- She hopes that the abuse will stop.
- She is concerned for the welfare of her husband. The woman realizes that the man is immature and unstable and she fears that he might return to alcohol and other self –destructive behaviours if she leaves.
- Religion beliefs. Until death do us part.
- Learned helplessness on the part of the women. She has come to term with her situation. Has accepted it as her lot in life, she may have developed dependency on alcohol and drugs to help dull her feelings.
